Posts Tagged ‘First World Problems’


Stop typing the word hypocrite. I know I am complaining right now about something pointless. I know that’s exactly what I am going to tell you you should stop doing.  The difference is that I understand these things are pretty much pointless.  You seem to think the whole internet needs to know such trials as a breakup or having a job.  Sorry, but I don’t care. That’s what you have friends for. Tweeting about it won’t help you. Now if you have some real problems, then by all means feel free to tweet.

What is a real problem? Your mom died. You became homeless. You are 7 years old and work in a factory. Things that seriously make your life worse. You could see how having a job or a breakup might not qualify.  So please keep it to yourself so we have less noise distracting us from real problems we need to fix.


Why does this exist? For those who don’t know what this is, it is a trend in which people with no real problems in life pretend to have problems.  An example of this is saying something like “I was given too many bottles of champagne for my engagement and now the fridge is full.” or “It’s nap time and my housekeeper is not done cleaning. How will I sleep?”.   Google doesn’t really know when it started but says it’s either a Tumblr blog or a Youtube video.  It was started as a joke. A bad joke, but a joke nonetheless.  Somewhere along the line, dumbasses started going “my first world problems are problems wahhhhh” and then asked their mother to change their diaper.  Seriously? Do you realize what’s happening in the world while you are bitching about “My $300 jacket is too tight” or some stupid shit like that? Let’s travel around the world, shall we? We’ll start in that really scary (well scary to idiots like you anyways) hood that you live as far away from as possible.  Three year olds are crying because they have no food and their parents are spending their food stamps on shoes because society is fucked up the ass.  Going overseas, we have the kids in Africa avoiding AIDS and trying to find water without animal shit in it.  Moving along, we reach the Middle East where people are terrified to go outside because there’s a war going on.  In India, we have wonderful acid-tossing raping assholes who were only just recently determined to be breaking a fucking law (which is a whole new rant for another day).  Finally we reach China where some eight year old is choosing to report his factory injury or hide it and work faster so he can still meet his quota for that day. Still think you have problems?