Posts Tagged ‘Rants’

Well this should be interesting. Since I can’t read, this article will probably suck. Olbermann and his obnoxious name (it doesn’t matter if I spell it right. I can’t read, remember?) are native New Yorkers or as they might say New Yawkers, so his dislike for Philly is expected. So instead of logically dissecting what’s wrong with this. I’m going to fight stereotype with stereotype.

At least I’m not racist. Oh, you didn’t know Rangers fans were racist? Well, take a look at this tweet from the rangers fan base. The Flyers have a black hockey player named Wayne Simmonds. “@KyleManger24: go slash a banana instead. Douche” and I’m the classless one” ” “Well that’s just one tweet.” Olbermann needed no supporting evidence whatsoever, so I must be right as well.

So racist Rangers, tonight’s worst persons in the sports world. Oh. And fuck you Olbermann I hope we sweep the dirty Rags in the playoffs.

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So someone was talking with me and pissed me the fuck off.  I played one of my raps for them and they asked me “Why are all rappers angry?” Why are we so angry?! Have you visited a hood? Look at the kids who don’t have meals. Look at the slips on our doors. Look at the guy getting beat by a cop just because.  Yeah, I don’t see any reason for us to be angry.

Rap is our expression. You guys had rock n roll, jazz, and even blues (or whatever you listened to).  To be honest, I haven’t really listened to enough of the music to be able to speak on the anger, but in the 90s I know rock took a darker angrier turn.  Every generation has their own way of expressing themselves.  As the poor get poorer and the hoods get more desperate, our raps are getting to get angrier because it’s our only outlet.

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You may have noticed #CancelColbert floating around Twitter. This was caused by Comedy Central tweeting

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And Twitter was furious. It should be pointed out that this was taken completely out of context.  Anyone who has seen the Colbert Report knows how highly satirical it is.  This was a a parody of Dan Snider’s Redskins Original Americans Foundation, and was poiking fun at the fact that he put the racial slur right in the goddamn title. Comedy Central deleted the tweet which, as you know, meant that absolutely everyone saw it.

Then things really got out of hand. Since this all started after his last show of the week, he had no chance to defend himself all weekend and the news got a hold of it. The New York Times. USA Today. CNN. Fox News. Everybody took their shots.

Now, for sake of argument, let’s pretend this wasn’t taken out of context. Stephen Colbert is a filthy redneck with a French sounding names who hates every yellow person alive (and pretend he tweeted it and Comedy Central didn’t). People are pissed. But hold on, I remember discrimination other places too.  A certain Fox News anchor once said the wife of the Boston Bomber should be in jail for wearing muslim attire.  #CancelFoxNews!! CNN said the N word multiple times (when put in context they were just reading texts or facebook posts about the story). #CancelCNN!!! But those hashtags never happenned.

Colbert did respond to these tweets last night to hear that you can go to Hulu, his website, or Google.

My physics professor is Russian and thinks Putin won because those troops aren’t his and that exerts his power. He would be great on Fox News.  But let’s ignore the fact that I disagree that Putin won because I’m not really sure what he gains from a land with pretty much no economic value (actually negative value they need to be upgraded). But he is keeping Ukraine away from the E.U and blah blah alliances. Okay, sure whatever. That’s another rant for another day. This wouldn’t work if the troops aren’t his. And it doesn’t make sense that those troops aren’t his, despite what my professor and/or Putin says.

Now perhaps you have better alternatives, but my professor’s best defense was well maybe those 10,000 people just met up and decided to imitate the Russian army. I guess he agrees with Putin who when pressed about how the troops looked, acted and sounded like Russian troops he said that anyone could buy those uniforms at stores. I hope they come in bulk and I hope that it gives them a deal on Russian tanks.

Ignoring the lack of logic there, to assume 10,000 people just magically decided to do this overnight is possible, but astronomically unlikely.  In defending this, he cited many mass gatherings from occupy wall street to various marches in history even to the KKK. However, none of these just happened overnight unless provoked by tragedy. Now one could try (and fail) to make the point that the Ukrainian protests were the tragedy, but this is a democratic place. If the locals want a chance to leave, all they need to is ask and the rest of Ukraine will discuss.

If they say they planned then I laugh (he did and I laughed). Why would they plan to counteract a threat that had yet to come into existence… the logic is M.I.A! Also, all of this ignores the fact that the soldiers on the ground in Crimea ADMIT to being Russian (once translated of course).

So no matter what Putin says, those are his goddamn troops.

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Stop typing the word hypocrite. I know I am complaining right now about something pointless. I know that’s exactly what I am going to tell you you should stop doing.  The difference is that I understand these things are pretty much pointless.  You seem to think the whole internet needs to know such trials as a breakup or having a job.  Sorry, but I don’t care. That’s what you have friends for. Tweeting about it won’t help you. Now if you have some real problems, then by all means feel free to tweet.

What is a real problem? Your mom died. You became homeless. You are 7 years old and work in a factory. Things that seriously make your life worse. You could see how having a job or a breakup might not qualify.  So please keep it to yourself so we have less noise distracting us from real problems we need to fix.

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Recently, a freshman at Duke university (pretty sure that isn’t her. Oh well) became a polarizing internet story when it was discovered that she was a pornstar.  Today, she decided to voice her opinion. I didn’t read it because I don’t really care.  Nothing personal to her, as I’m sure she’s a lovely lady, but I’m not mad at her. Thus, since this is my ranting blog, I have no need to read. All of you people who have assumed she’s a horrible person, why? Because she fucks people? Because no other college student does that…

But she does it on camera! What happened to our moral values? Which moral values? The “woman belong in the kitchen” moral values? That’s so much more respectful to the ladies! How could I have missed that? No, shut the fuck up.  You have no fucking clue who she is.  You have no fucking clue what she has been through.  I don’t either, but I’m willing to bet she’s a better person than you ignorant motherfuckers.

Why is she being singled out? Do you guys think she’s the only girl in college who has sex and videotapes it? Hell, she probably isn’t even the only pornstar in college using that to pay for her bills. At least she’s getting educated.  Would all you judgmental fucks do us all a favor and do the same? Thanks.

Lauren, if you ever get to read this. I support you. You seem like a smart girl who doesn’t need my pep talk. Don’t let the ignorant people change that.

bfdff1e68e0f11e38f3c0ab06fdbedbd_8This should be called “bitch about being single” day.  First of all, I am single. Would I like to have a valentine? Of course I would, just like I would prefer to have a dad on father’s day.  But there are plenty of things you can do to make this a good day instead of bitching and pissing me the fuck off. This is the easiest night to pick up girls at the bar if you’re into that.  You can smell the desperation when you walk in the room.  They want to be with someone that night just as much as you do.  Not that I endorse one night stands, but tonight is the night.

There are sports.  You could read.  You could actually do your job. Or find a job. Or get a promotion. I don’t know your life.  You could draw.  You could write about how much people bitching about being single pisses you off (guess which one I chose).  However, I think the best option is to grab some popcorn and see expectations about Valentine’s Day ruin people’s Valentine’s Day and go “Oh yeah, that’s why I’m single.”  Unless you are like me and find fighting sexy. Why do I find fighting sexy? It is when she is expressing power and most importantly make up sex is fucking fantastic.

Anyways, the point of this is Valentine’s Day is just another day.  If you don’t have a girlfriend/boyfriend, then you can just treat it like another day. Hell, even if you have one you can treat it like another day.  Just say hey I don’t like this holiday and explain why you don’t like it. Communication. All holidays are just that: days.  Days made special because someone told you they should be and you chose to listen.  You can opt out of any holiday you find stupid.

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Okay. Some of you guys are dumbasses.  Y’all complain about “all these hoes” when you called these women on your cell phone and said “We should hang out.” That makes sense.  You meet a good girl but go back to the other girls when she doesn’t give it to you in 0.5 seconds.  Ignoring the fact that girls are more than sex toys (I’ll get to that later), even toys require you to open the package, read the instructions, sometimes even assemble things.  I know you guys think you’re the hottest thing on the planet because of some chain or money or whatever, but just because she doesn’t give it up doesn’t mean she’s not interested.

Some girls like to do this crazy thing called “talking”.  You’ve done it before.  It’s when you exchange words with other human beings, taking time to listen to their responses.  This “talking” forms something called a “conversation”.  Now you might not be familiar with this.  This is where words that are exchanged, or “talking”,   center around at least one topic for an extended period of time.  This topic could be about something that happened during your day, a philosophy (Google it), or something you saw on TV.  I should be a communications professor.

Now that we understand that, we can move on to the “women aren’t your sex slaves” part of the discussion. You know these weird “feelings” things you have and how you react when they are hurt? It sounds corny and you can pretend they don’t ever get hurt, but either way you have them. Women aren’t immune to those.  In fact, they are more expressive of their feelings. They aren’t crying when the guys doesn’t call for fun.  They aren’t angrily telling you a story because they think we find it fun (although they wished we enjoyed it).  They’re not objects, they’re human beings.  Treat them like such.

Finally, just because they don’t give it up in 0.5 seconds doesn’t mean they ain’t interested.  They are trying to make sure when they do give it up, it’s to a man, not you.  What are you, you ask?  A boy. A small boy who is afraid of the challenge.  Did that hurt your pride? Good. Remember that next time you meet a quality girl.  No disrespect to those you call “hoes”, but they’re selling them short.  They deserve respect they just don’t demand it like they should for their own reasons.

Speaking of the women, don’t allow this to happen.  It’s the easy way out and it screws us good guys over.  We try to be all caring and affectionate and y’all be rocking them one night stands then tweeting “Why ain’t there no good guys left?” Bitch we’re right here! Stop dissing and friend-zoning the fuck out of us. Y’all ain’t exempt from the effort portion of this shit.  If you a hoe, you have forfeited your right to claim a lack of good guys.  Bitch, you ain’t paying us no attention.

Well, that was a waste of time.  In one of the least competitive Super Bowls ever, the Seahawks blasted the Broncos 43-8. That’s the reason a viewer should complain.  However, this morning my social media was filled with complaints about advertisements. What? I never understood this.  You’re shouldn’t like advertisements, since their sole purpose is to take your money for whatever stupid  product they’re trying to sell.  Worse yet, these commercials often do it with things that have ABSOLUTELY NOTHING to do with the product.

Let’s talk about Budweiser, since they are notorious for doing just that. What are the first things that pop into your head when you think about Budweiser? I’ll bet there are Clyesdales involved. Maybe some puppies and frogs if you’re really into it.  Now, go ahead and explain what on God’s green earth that has to do with beer.  Nothing? What a surprise.  But Budweiser doesn’t care because people will say that’s a cute commercial and then will be subconsciously predisposed to purchase Budweiser.  Hell, the fact that I said the product name so many times is advertising, so I’ll be waiting for my check.

I still don’t understand why it’s just during the Super Bowl we like commercials.  That’s very selective.  The other 355.875 days of the year, commercials are obnoxious (Fun with math assuming the Super Bowl is 3 hours, that makes it 3/24=1/8 or .125 days, thus 365-.125=355.875), yet for this game they are suddenly the highlight.  Seriously, there are people who watch the commercials and consider the game the interruption.  If that’s the case, just Youtube them the next day. There, problem solved, no interruptions.  Have fun subconsciously wasting your money.

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So this is a disheartening rant to give.  It is almost an eulogy to the Sportscenter I enjoyed.  Maybe it’s because I’m getting older, but my goodness does Sportscenter play favorites.  Their most recent victim is Richard Sherman who has been mercilessly vilified for being excited about winning.  He also had to deal with an endless deal of racism which is maddening to me.  They have milked this thing that shouldn’t even be a story for over a week because, let’s be honest, unless there’s a major injury in practice you run out of things to talk about when you focus on one game for two weeks.  It’s absolutely brutal.

So let’s give another example.  I come home from a long day of classes and jobs or wake up before all of that and think “Hm, I wonder who won this game”. So, I turn on Sportscenter thinking that I will actually get highlights.  I get maybe one or two if I’m lucky jammed between Lebron, Tebow, Hernandez, Sherman, and countless other things that make me think talk show.  Maybe they need to separate these things.  Make one show for all their pointless talking that bores me because I like to draw my own conclusions.  Then Sportscenter can be highlights of actual games with some guy yelling “Bartender!” and Stuart pretending his eye isn’t fake.  That’s the Sportscenter I grew up on.